I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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