Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
