WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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