Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
