Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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