pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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