No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize