So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
