I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize