Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
