dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
