i jhust puked up my retainher.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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