they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
