His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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