I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
