So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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