i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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