i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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