the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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