Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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