I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
