Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
