ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I want a musical about memes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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