Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
