so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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