It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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