this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
