he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
