They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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