In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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