East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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