this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
