i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
