Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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