You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
