i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We need to get me chipped asap
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
