he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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