It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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