Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
