my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
