She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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