So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
