I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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