It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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