Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Holy shit dude........stairs
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize