I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
