You can't special order awesome
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
