Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
