her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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