my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
