ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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