If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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