How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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