ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
