i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
