Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
