Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ttyl tear gas
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
