Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You dont lie about slip and slides
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
