He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The air taste purple.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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