everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
