and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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