It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
