he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
