there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Randomize