Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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