So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
