In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
