absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
