It was confusing and full of hummus
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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