Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
