Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
