Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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