Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
