Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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