Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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